3.05.2007

Smoke It Up...

Who knew that candy cigarettes were still being sold?

In a recent drive through Kentucky, Dave and I found and bought (for novelty's sake) a box of the candy. I remembered being a child and thinking that candy cigarettes were sooo cool. The only time I ever got them was if they ended up in my Halloween bag once a year. I'd puff away on the candy until the ends got soggy and then I'd quickly crunch through the rest of the chalky candy.

I was surprised to see the candy cigarettes in the convenient store... I mean, in today's world, with all the political correctness and anti-smoking propoganda out there, who knew you were still allowed to buy children fake cigarettes so they can pick up the habit early?

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I have also recently visited a city that is now "non-smoking" in its bars and restaurants. As an ex-smoker, I have always felt that it should be the decision of the establishment as to whether they allow their patrons to smoke or not on the premises. However, it was so nice to go out in the evenings to a crowded bar, not have my eyes burning from the smoke by the end of the night, and wake up in the morning with my hair and clothing reeking of cigarettes.

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Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel.

8 comments:

rosemary said...

Love the joke....

I too remember cool candy cigs....and wax cola bottles with the sweetest liquid in them, yard long sheets of paper with dots of candy on them.....I used to buy candy at the corner grocery store when I went to buy cigs for my mom with a note!!

Mishka said...

In the NW it seems like most public places are non smoking and I love it...

Fantastagirl said...

I used to buy candy cigs when my family would go on vacation at the bait shop - but didn't know they still were around. Candy cigs are right up there with the big league chewing gum...

Loved the joke!

Blogarita said...

I used to smoke, and I agree with you on both counts. It ought to be up to the establishment whether or not to allow smoking, but it is nice to go out and come home without smoke lingering in your hair and clothes.

As for the candy cigarettes, I'd sooner start smoking real ones again. Those candy ones are nasty!

Dave Morris said...

I enjoyed the wax lips, mostly. Candy cigarettes never gave me the same long-lasting, smooth taste.

Amandarama said...

Establishments in New England are becoming very quick to ban smoking in public. At first, Mr. Scoop was dismayed. And...he continues to be. He doesn't like having to go outside in -5 degree weather to get his fix.

Me? I'm totally ok with it :)

Weary Hag said...

Having just quit nine weeks ago, I would love to get my hands on a pack of the candy stogies - at least then when I'm writing I could 'fake' a good power smoke.

I'm so glad Dave had your link on his blog. I really enjoy reading you. I've been snooping around through some back pages too - some really great stuff! Thanks for the smiles.

Tug said...

That joke cracked me up! CO is all non-smoking now, which isn't a surprise with all the greenies around.