Life's Lessons from "The Price Is Right"***

"The Price is Right" has been on television longer than I've been alive. Bob Barker has been giving away cars and vacations, asking his beauties to bring out the next prize, and giving people the chance to 'come on down' since before my parents had even met each other.

And now, Bob Barker has made the announcement that he is going to retire. But he will be remembered long after his show is no longer airing.


All of our lives have been touched by Bob and "The Price is Right." We've grown up watching TPIR and have learned many lessons from it. My favorite thing about summer vacation and being sick during the school year was knowing that I could watch TPIR at 11:00 a.m. Here are some of the things that I learned over the years:

Age Four: The louder and more obnoxious you are, the more likely you are to get attention. While I was at my babysitter's house, I would watch the people scream and jump up and down - they were always the people whose names were called.

Age Seven: You should always help to control the pet population by having your pet spayed or neutered. This is also the age when my parents gave away our pet dog because he impregnated the neighbor's dog. Fido just couldn't keep it in his pants.

Age Ten: Math is actually a valuable skill in the real world. You never know when you're going to be asked to figure out multiples of the price of Metamucil to equal between $11.50 and $13.00.

Age Thirteen: The ideal life is to be a Barker Beauty. The Beauties always had beautifully manicured nails and perfectly poofed hair. What a great job to be paid to walk around holding watches and gesturing toward armoires. (Although, honestly, Vanna is the one who has it made. But, apparently, that bitch isn't going anywhere...)

Age Fifteen: Geography is also a valuable skill. It will help you to esimate the cost of your Showcase Showdown exotic vacations to Spain, Hawaii, and Calgary.

Age Sixteen: You have to have a sense of humor about yourself. Although this is not a lesson learned from TPIR directly, when Bob Barker made his appearance on Adam Sandler's "Happy Gilmore" it showed that he can laugh at himself. Very fun.

Age Seventeen: College is all about matching t-shirts.

Age Twenty: The winner is always the person who bids the closest without going over. This comes in handy when going to the casino (Blackjack) and making bets on sporting events (like the one I won last week). The person who goes over the top, loses. [This theory also applies to some dating: The person who bids the least for the relationship is in control.]

Age Twenty-five: Life is hard. And when you get old, you can't spin the wheel all the way around without help. That sucks.


Thank you, Bob, for your years of wisdom that you've shared. Many of us have been changed for good.

***Although Dave also posted about Bob Barker's retirement today, he did not even have the idea to bring it up in a blog until I mentioned it to him this morning as my blog topic for the day. That's the thing about men - you just can't trust them!