8.17.2006

Hellbent on saving the Hellbender!

The Ozark Hellbender is in trouble...

The St. Louis Zoo is doing what it can to help this slug-like salamander. But, it seems to many people that the Hellbender has too many obstacles to overcome.

The first enemy forcing this species onto the endangered species list is the dreaded chytrid (pronounced ky-trid) fungus. This fungus has been running rampant in the Hellbender's habitats. It is an African fungus (don't ask me how it got here!) and whenever it arrives in an area, it kills 80% of the amphibians in the area within one year.

In addition to the problems of humans destroying the habitats of the Hellbender, there is one other small problem.

Birth control.

Yep, that's right. Birth control. Apparently, women take birth control. Then, they go floating, swimming, whatever in the rivers and lakes where the Hellbender live. Usually drinking as they do this, eventually the women need to urinate. They do so in the water. The hormones from the birth control are then deposited along with the pee into the water. This in turn gets causes the Hellbender to have an imbalance in hormones, causing them to be unable to reproduce.

So what is the solution to this problem? Port-a-potties along the river? People wouldn't use them anyway. Not allowing women who want to swim in the (already contaminated) waters of Missouri to take birth control? Please, not that! Many of these women do not need to be reproducing.

Looks like the Ozark Hellbender has a long road to travel before making it off the endangered species list.

6 comments:

Dave Morris said...

What a coincidence, female hormones make ME not want to reproduce, too.

Good luck to the hellbender. He's already at a distinct disadvantage because he lives in this god-forsaken state.

Blogarita said...

Oh, good. I thought for minute that Dave was going to say female hormones turn him into a sluglike amphibian.

Fantastagirl said...

Taking away birthcontrol is not an option.... sorry... but there are too many people that need that...lol..

Amandarama said...

Why isn't there anyway I can pee in the water and have my hormones affect something that really shouldn't reproduce, like say, my neighbor who already has five kids in her one bedroom apartment?

Polyman2 said...

Ladies...
Please deposit your urine
in the proper receptacles.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Don't forget the most important reason why they are in trouble...

They are just so awesomely delicious!