11.17.2006

Instruments of Torture

We live in a masochistic society.

In a world where fairy tales tell us that live happily ever after, we still question something that is "too good to be true." Pain makes us feel like we are alive. And, we inflict much of this torture upon ourselves.

For example, look at these tweezers. They are used to grasp and yank tiny hairs from their follicles, for the sake of a perfectly arched eyebrow. Rather drastic measures for a relatively minor asthetic result.


Using Visine is the equivalent of Chinese water torture. Lean back, open your eye as wide as possible and wait... wait... wait... for the drop to finally decide to drop onto your eye. The chemicals in the drop can cause stinging, the shock from the attack causes eyes to water.


Eyelash curlers just look menacing. Why would I want to put these anywhere near my eyes? Yet, we use these to twist our eyelashes into a shape they naturally are not, making sure to pinch the surrounding tender skin in the process.


In case that isn't enough, why don't we take hot wax, smear it onto our skin, and then tear it off along with any hair that becomes trapped underneath. Sounds like a pretty good device to get a captive to talk.


The last items I'll bring up are the lights that surround vanity tables. Think of a detective interrogating a criminal in a dark room with nothing but a spotlight shining into the sweaty face of the suspected. Or, for those of you with a little more geek in you, Picard when he was captured by the Cardassians and tortured...

"THERE... ARE... FOUR... LIGHTS!!!"


I guess going through all of these on a regular basis is good in case we are ever captured and forced to endure these agonies. I guess it is like they say: "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."

8 comments:

Mr. Fabulous said...

Yep. You're battle-hardened now!

Dave Morris said...

Guys are lucky. We use tweezers to clean our fingernails... and that's about it. Oh, and to get little screws out of tight places or whatever. But never to pull hair out of anything.

Rhea said...

Eyelash curlers always looked to me like forceps for the eyes.

Blogarita said...

I am so not a girly-girl. Only the tweezers are part of my regular routine.

Mom of Three said...

Please don't forget the Brazilian Wax! High heels! Fishnets! Sports bras!

Ari said...

It is emblematic of the universe that beauty causes pain. Or not. I'm drinking wine. I shouldn't necessarily be listened to. ;)

LBseahag said...

my grandma always said pain is beauty...

i totally think guys got off easily...more men need to wear makeup thick as Jared Leto...

Mishka said...

at least we know women would handle torture better than men would...since we go through it all the time