12.11.2006

*bLiNg*

~CAUTION: *bLiNg* may not be suitable for adults over the age of 55~

Dear Dad:

I know that since you and Mom split up five years ago, you've been working to get yourself in prime condition to play the field. You've lost a lot of weight and started gelling your hair in a style that can only really be described as 'porcupine.' It has taken some getting used to, but I feel like I must respect your need to cling to your youth.

I think this weekend you reached the point where you need an intervention.

Friday night, you wore what can only be described as "bling" to a family holiday gathering. The large gold cross that dangled from a thick gold chain around your neck to mid-chest level was too much. One cousin asked if you were 'born again.'

Upon later investigation it was discovered that you would be leaving early to attend a social function following the family get-together. I rationalized that perhaps you had chosen to wear the "bling" to fit into the crowd that would be at this function... until I learned that you were going to a Swing Dancing Club Holiday Social.

Have swing dancers begun wearing "bling?" I was unaware of the trend, if this is so.

I guess I'm just trying to do my daughterly duty by letting you know this:

*bLiNg* just doesn't quite work with an argyle sweater vest.

Love your daughter,
Violet

6 comments:

Dave Morris said...

Perhaps it is you that is uncool.

arthist99 said...

OMG that is the funniest thing I've read all day...

Steven Novak said...

Bling + Argyle = No Good.

I've made note..thanks. ;)

Steve~

Diana said...

Too funny! :o)

MIA said...

Oh no! i have these "bling" dads ask me out a time or two. Good job on the intervention.

Ari said...

My reaction to the mental picture this conjured up was, "NUH UHH!!!"

I think you should delete all traces of your identity from this and mail it to your dad signed as "Anonymous Hottie at Swing Dancing Club".

Either that or email it anonymously to PuffDaddy@Puffy.com to try to get him to release a line of argyle sweater vests and thus, create the trend.