Embracing my inner dork...

As a new Facebook junkie (thanks a lot, Paula), I've recently come into contact with a lot of people from my past. The experience has definitely caused some introspection.

When I think back on high school or the potential high school reunion, I tend to cringe. There were a lot of people there that didn't "get me." And, for that matter, I didn't "get them," either. Society had taught me that I should be able discern what to wear, what music to like, what to say, and how to act in order to fit in with this particular crowd. But, I was always really too consumed with my own world to figure out what those things were and always seemed to be baffled by the fact that I couldn't quite put all the pieces together.

At this point in my life, I'm secure enough to admit some things that, in my earlier years, I would have been mortified to share. Quirky things that some people may not expect, but I am no longer ashamed to put out there, because, well, they're just "me."

For example - The magazines I subscribe to are: Psychology Today, Gifted Child Today, Cooking Light, The Journal of Counseling and Development, and Scrapbooks, Etc. (No gossip magazines or current events... Although, I used to get Entertainment Weekly and Time.) I get excited when I see them in my mailbox and love to relax in the bathtub, reading an article about current trends in counseling or scrapbooking techniques.

One of my favorite genres of music is Broadway. Along those sides, I love musical theatre. There is something about the integration of music and plot that somehow transcends a simple play or movie. Plus, the thrill of a live performance sends chills down my spine.

I love going to school. I like writing papers. I enjoy the challenge of studying for a test. I thrive on the stress of waiting for grades to be posted. After I finish my master's degree that I am working on now (my second, for the record), I hope to earn my Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology.

Interesting how once I write these things down, they really seem like no big deal. But, I'll be honest - these are things that I sometimes worry about sharing with people. Like, I'm not really as "cool" as I try to act. You'd think that ten years out of high school, I would no longer worry about what other people think of me... But, like everyone else (I hope), I do. I'm proud of the fact that I'm willing to put those things out there for all those people from my past, dorky or not.


Dave Morris said...

I feel like an "insider" because I already know all of these things. There is NOTHING in this post I didn't already know!

And I'm just as bad. It's just that I don't go around admitting it.

Blogarita said...

I can relate to most of these things, specifically for some (I enjoy Psychology Today, school, taking tests, writing term papers) and generally for others (my favorite music isn't mainstream, I was oblivious to much that was happening in high school).

I was a dork in high school; just ask Dave. I'm still a dork; just ask my family. :)

Jennifer said...

I think the older you get, the better it is to be a dork. Those non-dork people from hight school now are just plain boring.

The Comeback Kid said...

dude. you're turning into mom and dad. the only introspection I ever have is just how awesome I really am.

C said...

ya know, i have ALWAYS enjoyed doing math problems such as algebra, or geometry, on lined paper with a freshly sharpened #2 pencil. when i buy new pencils the smell of them takes me back.
now, violet, i freely admit that and yes i also am a dork. a gay one maybe, but never the less a dork.

merry christmas!


beana said...

you were actually always about five steps AHEAD of everyone in HS-
its just that your teachers wanted everyone on the same page... you skipped ahead.

glad you have turned into such a good student!

it is cool to be a dork...and you are surrounded by them..

high school is sometimes a cruel experiment for most kids...

rosemary said...

i agree with Jennifer....but you know what? I am 64 and skipped my last reunion....the 45th....because the people i went to school with have had to much surgery, have no education beyond high school and are the same snobs they were in 1962. I still get RN magazine and Nursing 2009 January has already arrived.

Fred said...

ACK! You're doing great Em! Shoot, I've not even made it halfway through college yet, and I've got a good 10 years on ya. I spend my days wiping poopy butts, beating 2 teenage boys off each other with a broom, cleaning up dog puke, playing with the washing machine and dishwasher (gotta LOVE bubbles!) (I feel like that fish on Nemo....oh, bubbles bubbles bubbles.....) and asking the bagger at the grocery store to please not smoosh my eggs.

Took me a long time to get over what other people thought of me, now I embarass myself all the time and don't care, I've learned how to laugh at myself.

You're ahead of the curve ball! Sounds like you always have been!
They really were just jealous of you!

Caroline Bender said...

welcome to the Church of the Facebook. I don't see how we are expected to keep up with both blogs and Facebook. Ugh - the pressure. Maybe Blogging is about to die, to be replaced by micro conversations like
"like it."