Wanna come over for dinner?

Our chapter of Chi Sigma Iota up at school is doing a holiday food drive, so yesterday I began rummaging through the pantry for things to donate. I won't go through all of the fun things I discovered during my search, but here's something I thought was worth sharing:

One innocent box of Tuna Noodle Helper*...

Not just expired....

But, so old that even the Box Tops for Education are too old to salvage.

Damn.

To reframe this in a more positive light, I guess this just means that I am such a wonderful cook, I don't need to use tuna casserole from a box. Right???

BTW - I did not donate the expired Tuna Noodle Helper to the food drive. That just wouldn't be right, would it?

And, for those of you who only visit the site for news of Sparky, here's a little clip to keep you happy.

*"I don't know why they call it Hamburger Helper... It does just fine by itself."
**What is my obsession with expired food? I guess I just find it funny... As evidenced here, and here. Although, there may be more posts that I couldn't find right away. I can't quite be sure.

An Unexpected Snack

As I unloaded the groceries the other day, I came upon an item that was individually wrapped in a small plastic grocery bag. I racked my brain, trying to determine what it is that I had bought that would warrant its own individual bag...

"Nothing breakable," I thought. "Nothing leaky, sticky, or poisonous."

I opened the bag to find a small cardboard tray from the meat section of the store carrying some type of fried food. This was definitely something that got put into my cart by mistake. Carefully, I turned over the item to see the UPC code sticker on the bottom:

FRIED CHICKEN GIZZARDS

Bonus! The checker must've forgotten to put these tasty morsels in the cart of the person who checked out before me (who bore an uncanny resemblance to Methuselah) and then put it into my bags instead. They were even still warm from the heat lamp they'd most likely been sitting under for approximately 5 to 7 days! Luckeeee...

I wasn't going to drive back to the store for $1.50-worth of chicken innards, so I asked Dave if he wanted one. He looked at them, considering, and tentatively tried to take a bite of one of the fried rubber pucks. He gave up and put it back in the tray.

I went ahead and promptly brought them out into the garage and threw them in the trash.

Barefoot, Still Pregnant, and In the Kitchen...

....wearing nothing but an apron.

Okay, well, that part may not be true. But, you know, it isn't a bad idea! It is about a million freakin' degrees in here! (Then again, I feel like it is a million degrees most anywhere in any level of clothing these days...)

Sparky's due date has come and gone and we still do not have our little guy with us. He's totally content just hanging around in utero with no rush to come out here into this big, bright, scary world.

I am no longer working. I was sure that I would have a baby by now, so I arranged to have last Friday to be my last day of work. Since I have no work and no baby, I had to find something to keep myself busy. Call it nesting. I went to the store this morning and have spent all afternoon preparing some dishes that I can freeze and we can cook up once the baby gets here. I finished four of the six dishes. I had to take a break for a while and will finish the last couple either tonight or tomorrow morning.

What's on the menu?

1. Chicken Caesar Tetrazzini
2. Tuna Noodle Casserole
3. Zucchini and Chicken Pasta Bake
4. Meatloaf
5. Baked Cavatelli
6. Chicken Normandy Style

Paula and I went to the local "Let's Dish" place a couple weeks ago, so I am merely supplementing what we've already got stocked up in the freezer. Let's Dish, in case you haven't heard of it, is one of those places that you go and prepare a bunch of meals that you can freeze and then easily defrost and cook at home. It was a great experience! For me and Dave, the cost was reasonable and the best part was that everything is there ready for you to assemble and there is no clean-up! Can't beat that!

Dave mentioned that I must really mistrust his cooking to go to these lengths...

No comment.

Surprise Snow Day!

My alarm had already gone off and I was in bed, thinking about how I really didn't feel like getting up when the phone rang. The phone only rings that early in the morning at our house for one reason: Snow Day!!

Based on the weather reports last night, the freezing rain/sleet/snow wasn't supposed to hit 'til this afternoon. I was dreading the drive home today and halfway hoping that they'd call school off for tomorrow. Today, though, was a snow day that occurred without me actually NOT having to do the traditional "Snow Day Dance."

Unfortunately, the motions of "Snow Day Dance" are a secret, carefully guarded by a few teachers across the world, so I can't really divulge what that would look like. You'd be amazed at how similar it is to the "Rain Dance" that lifeguards often perform on cloudy days.

Anyway, after watching the news to verify that my district was indeed among the closed, I rolled over and went back to sleep. I am currently in the process of baking chocolate chip cookies, except I'm using M&M's because Walgreens doesn't carry chocolate chips. Bastards.

I did get to use my fancy-schmancy Kitchenaid Bowl Mixer for the first time to mix the dough; I got it for Christmas and haven't had the time/energy/motivation to bake anything that I would need it for until today. Let me just tell you: That mixer freakin' rocks.

Plans for the rest of the day include doing some scrapbooking, playing some Guitar Hero, taking a nap, getting take-out from Chevy's for dinner, and watching American Idol.

Life is good.

Groundhog Day Party

Life around here has been pretty uneventful lately. Well, that is, if you discount all of the chaos surrounding the upcoming arrival of the baby... But, other than that, it has been pretty uneventful.

As was exhibited by our thrilling Saturday night, a la Groundhog Day Style.

I actually felt up to cooking, since I hadn't done much of anything all day long. Mike, Paula, and Ella came over to join us for some Mexican Lasagna.


It was pretty good. Won't be a staple in our diets, but for a change, it was nice. It is basically lasagna with chicken, but you use tortillas instead of lasagna noodles and chili powder and cumin instead of the traditional Italian seasonings in lasagna.

Then, we had a bit of "Independent Study Time," as Paula put it.

Dr. Mike worked on creating his apparel for the Super Bowl Hot Wing contest. Gotta love a guy who isn't afraid to wear a puffy painted sweatshirt, right? Especially one featuring a chicken with his wings on fire.

Dave finally set up the Wii that "Santa" brought him for Christmas. You know, for someone who bitched and moaned about not being "allowed" to get a Wii, it sure did take a long time to get the game system set up.


And Paula and I ate ice cream. (Hey, we're pregnant. Otherwise, we'd have been doing tequila shots.)


Once everyone reconvened, we messed around with the Wii a little bit. I think Kramer got more enjoyment out of the whole experience than everyone else. I don't think I've ever seen him so excited.

And everyone was home and in bed well before midnight, because, as everyone knows, if you aren't, the Groundhog Fairy will turn you into a pumpkin.

Or something like that.

Greatest Culinary Invention Since "Sliced Bread"

How many times have you had the fabulous idea of roasting marshmallows and making s'mores?

Simple enough, right? The problem comes when you are trying to manage two pieces of the graham cracker, the chunk of chocolate, and the gooey marshmallow. You have to smoosh them all together into one tidy little sammich. Doesn't always work that way. More than once, I've ended up with burnt fingers and a 'mallow on my foot.

Problem solved! In an ingenious solution to this age old problem, a friend figured out a way to combine the graham and the chocolate:

FUDGE STRIPED COOKIES!

Easy, breezy, beautiful! Just as tasty, with hardly any muss or fuss! I love it! I highly recommend that you try it the next time you're at a bonfire....

Saturday Morning Skeptic... and Stuff

I admit it: I read junk mail. I look through the catalogs and coupons that are sent in the mail on a daily basis. Occasionally, one will stand out to me, and I'll pull it out thinking, "Ooohh, I could use this." However, I never end up using them and they all end up in the trash eventually.

This morning, I was looking through these little cards, each with an offer, when I came across this one:


"Everyone deserves a smile they can be proud of!" it touts, above a before and after picture of somebody with really nasty teeth, apparently fixed by the the teeth straightening and whitening process advertised on the back of the card.

Maybe it is just me, but somehow I don't think that the "before" teeth were simply straightened and whitened in order to get the "after" teeth. If it is the same person (which the appearance of similar facial hair seems to indicate) there was other major dental work performed in order to reach point A to point B. I have a feeling that it isn't even the same person in both photos, though.

But, I may just be too much of a skeptic.

**********

Several of you requested information about the Citrus Shrimp and Penne Pasta meal that I cooked last week. After seeing that post, Blogarita was so impressed with my culinary skills, that she asked me to be an author on her kitchen blog! I made my first post over there yesterday, so if you are interested in it (or other delicious recipes that Blogarita posts) click on over and check it out.

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Speaking of other blogs, I have posted the discussion questions for "Fall On Your Knees" by Ann-Marie MacDonald on the Check This Out book club blog. Those of you who read it along with us and those of you who've read it before, please go on over and add your two cents to the conversation.

Our next book that we'll be reading is "Running with Scissors" by Augusten Burroughs. It was recently made into a movie with Alec Baldwin and Annette Benning. I've already started reading it and it is a pretty quick read, so please join our discussion at our book club. The more, the merrier!

(After this book, we'll be choosing something lighter, from a chick lit line, per the request of Paula and Jen, so stay tuned!)

S'rimp Gumbo, S'rimp Salad, S'rimp Cocktail*

I made this concoction for dinner last night: Citrus Shrimp(s) with Penne Pasta.

See all of those little shrimps? I was too cheap to buy the already peeled and deveined shimp and I didn't have time to wait for the frozen ones to defrost, so I peeled 1.67 pounds worth of shrimp myself. Lots of different things run through your mind while you are doing a task such as that. For example:

- It would totally bite to have to work in a factory as a shrimp peeler. You would spend each day peeling and getting the little leg-things stuck under your fingernails and you would go home each day reeking of seafood. Dave tried to give me a positive way to look at it, saying that I would be the best shrimp peeler in the factory, but really, if the highlight of your life is winning the "Employee of the Month" award at the shrimp peeling factory, wouldn't you want to go jump off a bridge? I probably would.

- In 50 years, it is possible that Dave and I will be at the grocery store and reminisce about the time that I complained about peeling shrimp for this meal. We will lament the fact that we can no longer buy shrimp for dinner since the oceans have been completely fished to the point of emptiness. Ah, the things we take for granted.

- Why am I such a cheapskate that I wouldn't buy the already peeled shrimp for $12.99 a pound instead of the $8.99 a pound? Probably because I had to spend $6.50 for a bottle of toasted sesame oil that the recipe also needed. Next time, I buying the expensive stuff, though.

The meal was a success. It started out as being cooked for only four people, but by the time the meal was served, it had doubled to eight. Luckily, my mother taught me to always be paranoid that there wouldn't be enough food, so I had bought enough to double the recipe. (There was this whole Thanksgiving-mashed potatoes-issue that is seared into my childhood memories...)

I won't bore you with the entire recipe, but just know that it was delicious! I was afraid that the citrus would be too much (it is made of orange juice and corn starch), but it was just enough flavor for the shrimp and not overpowering at all!

(* She said "cock"...)

Poppy Dogs

Every family has some type of delicacy that when others see it, they raise an eyebrow and think to themselves "eeeewwww..."

My family has Poppy Dogs.

They came by their name after my grandfather, who we called, of course, Poppy. Poppy Dogs are hotdogs, but the way they are prepared is what makes them special. They are also always served with real baked beans - cooked in the oven with salt pork, not out of the can.

They are delicious. They are also a staple of our menu while on any family vacation.

To prepare Poppy Dogs, simply slice the hotdogs down the middle and stuff them with brown sugar, yellow mustard, and horseradish and top them with slices of American cheese. Broil them in the oven until the tops get all browned and crispy.

I know it may sound odd to you, but they are delicious. I believe that they are unique to our family, but I guess it is possible that other people have something similar. You know that your family probably has interesting recipes like this, too... Admit it!

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One of my favorite things to do on vacation while lounging at the pool or beach or even inside on a cloudy day is to read a book. Some friends may remember a particular float trip when I sat at the edge of the river the day before the float reading a book. May sound dorky, but nothing says leisure and luxury like lounging with a book.

I'm having lots of time on this vacation to immerse myself in the current book that I'm reading: Fall On Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald. The book is excellent and it is the current read of the Check This Out book club blog. For those of you that are reading along with us, the discussion topics will probably be posted on the site by April 1st. Even if you've already read the book and want to add your thoughts, feel free!

Also, the next book we will be reading is Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs. It was recently made into a movie that looks pretty interesting. I want to give everyone a heads up so if you think that you'd like to read along with us, you can get your copy. You've got plenty of time to find a copy and read it; we probably won't post about it until the beginning of May since we haven't even posted about the current book yet. The more the merrier over at the book club blog; please join us!

Pi(e) Day

Today is March 13, or 3.14, so let us all join hands, sing Pi Carols, and rejoice.

Yeah, I don't know any Pi Carols either, but the nice weather is getting me all kinds of giddy. Plus, tomorrow is the "Ides of March," and celebrating Pi(e) is way more fun than celebrating the fact that Brutus murdered Caesar.

**********

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi.

Q: What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter?
A: Cow pi.

Q: What do you get when you take green cheese and divide its circumference by its diameter?
A: Moon pi.

Q:What do you get when you take a native Alaskan and divide its circumference by its diameter?
A: Eskimo pi.

Q:What do you get when you take the sun and divide its circumference by its diameter?
A: Pi in the sky.

Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?
A: Pi a'la mode.

**********

My mother is an excellent cook. She is especially a superb baker. When it comes to cakes, cookies, and more than anything else, pies, she can't be beat.

Except for once. She forgot the sugar. She blamed my friend and I for distracting her while she was making it. We laughed our @$$es off at her.

Thankfully, I had recently seen an episode of Martha Stewart that taught me about making lattice crusts and had suggested that we try this method with this pie. We pulled the pie out of the oven and shoved the sugar into the little holes in the crust with the back of a wooden spoon.


The pie tasted great and nobody would have ever known the difference. That is, if I hadn't broadcast the story to the entire extended family the next day. I doubt she'll ever live it down.

**********

Click here to hear the official Pi Song. Go on, it isn't long. And it is rather humorous, in an odd, mathematical type of way.

Links and Such...

Several of you mentioned that you were interested in a copy of the recipe for my Low-Fat Roasted Corn and Crab Soup. Instead of posting it here, Blogarita has been gracious enough to post my recipe in her Kitchen. This is a fabulous website with great recipes and stories and photos to go along with most of the food featured. Go on over, check it out!

Speaking of checking things out, I've finally posted the discussion questions for Icy Sparks on the book club website. I've also changed the web address to: http://checkthisoutbookclub.blogspot.com. The site kind of morphed from reviews by me to a book club format, and I'm pretty excited to see how it all works out.

If anyone who didn't get in on the Icy Sparks action, the next book we will be reading is Fall On Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald. We'd love to have another person to jump in on the discussion with us, so go on over and see what the website is all about, then pick up a copy of this next book. You've got plenty of time; we probably won't end up "discussing" it until the beginning of March at the earliest.

And, a link, just for fun!

SOUP-er Bowl

A Picture Story

So, yesterday we all gathered at Bill's Garage 2...

...to watch the Super Bowl. For food, we decided that everyone would bring a different type of soup for a soup cook-off.

Dave and I decided on bringing a new recipe that we found: Roasted Corn and Crab Soup. It was mmm-mmmm good.

Mikey's entry wasn't quite as gourmet, yet great tasting just the same.

I lost the "Overall Best Soup" by one vote... That one vote would be Dave's. He thought it would be funnier to vote for Bill's "soup" instead. It wasn't even really a soup.

We did one of those grid football pool things. How much B.S. is it that the first and second quarters both went to the same square? Then, the wife of the guy who won the first two quarters won the third quarter. The fourth quarter went to Dr. Mike, but I think the "must be present to win" rule takes effect here, so I'm keeping his money!

The night ended with Bill and Dave doing shots of Ten High. I drove the Hummer home.

And they all lived happily ever after!

Thoughts for a Thursday Morning

Thank god that the stupid Patriots are not going to be in the Super Bowl again. I think they should make a limit on Super Bowl wins for teams... You know, like the President can't be elected for more than two terms, so football teams shouldn't be able to win more than two Super Bowls within a ten year period. Just like the Dallas Cowboys in the early 90's, the Patriots have worn out their welcome at the big game... at least for the time being.

On that note, I am pleased with both of the teams that made it to the game. I have to say that I am kind of pulling for the Colts to win. I like the Bears, too, but I would really love to see Peyton Manning get the win.

But, the best part about it is that no matter who wins, it won't be the freakin' Patriots.

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This past Sunday was my mom's birthday. I invited the family (including both of my divorced parents) over to the house for dinner. The menu included: Salad, Beef Roast, Steamed Asparagus, Rice Casserole (Grandma's secret recipe, which I memorized on Christmas), and, of course, Birthday Cake.

This was actually the first time that I'd been in charge of cooking a full meal for my family. I've cooked lots for friends, but between college, living at my mom's house, residing out of the area, and living in a tiny apartment that wouldn't have enough room to host everyone anyway, I've never played host for my own family. I've helped cook and even made lasagna for the family at my mom's house before, but it has never been just my show.

Everything went perfectly. But, the coolest thing for me was that my dad seemed really impressed with the meal. Like, I think he was surprised that the menu didn't consist of Easy Mac or burgers on the grill. I've struggled my whole life to get my dad to see me as an individual who, although the choices I've made haven't necessarily been the ones he wanted me to make, is successful and competent.

Amazing that being able to know when to pull a roast out of the oven helped him to realize that just a little bit more.

**********
Dave and I watched SNL on Saturday night and made a realization. Everybody talks about how Saturday Night Live just isn't the same and isn't as funny as it used to be. But, we have a theory the SNL is just as funny as it has always been.

It is just that people aren't smoking as much pot.

**********

So, Dave and I bought our PowerBall tickets last night. I haven't checked yet to see if our numbers match or not... I'd rather let the dream that we could be multi-millionaires last just a little bit longer.

240 million dollars! Can you imagine? Well, we'd probably take the cash option, which would cut it in about half, then we'd have to pay 1/3 of it in taxes, but, still, 80 million dollars! What the hell would we do with all that money? Well, first, we would split it with Dr. Mike, Paula, and Mikey, since we that was the deal we made on Tuesday night. But then, we still each have approximately $16 millioni each....

People always say that they would keep working... Haha... Yeah, right. I would probably finish out the remainder of my current contract at my job, but there's not a freakin' chance in hell that I'd go back to work after that! I'd get a house on the beach and one in the mountains and travel and write and work out... What a life. At some point in the future, if all of that stuff got boring, I might go ahead and open a little coffee shop or something. I'd hire people to run it, but it would give me something to do... but, I'd get to make my own schedule, of course.

Talking with some friends the other night about the possibility of winning the lottery, the topic came up revenge. I mean, think of the people you could screw with if you had 80 million bucks lying around! I don't know that there is anyone in my life that I resent enough to need revenge, but the thought that I could if I wanted to is nice. Maybe just a little prank here or there for some of the people who get under my skin... What do you think? Would there be anyone you'd want to pay back for things they'd done? What would you do to them?

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Word of the Day: Contumacious - (Adj.) Persistantly, willfully, or overtly defiant of authority.

Throw that one on your kids when they won't listen: "Would you stop being so damn contumacious!!!" They'll be so confused over what you're talking about, they'll forget why they were being stubborn.

How Many Mustards Does One Man Need?

Now that Dave and I are co-habitating, I am in the process of reorganizing everything in the house to suit my needs. (That's what women do, right Dr. Mike?) As I began putting food away in the fridge yesterday after our trip to the grocery store, I realized that due to the disheveled arrangement of the fridge, there was no room for the new food. I decided to clear some things out, condense others, and just generally move stuff around.

I began by throwing away all of the leftover food that had been sitting in there for weeks. I admit that I am bad about this. I have a tendency not to eat all of my meal at a restaurant and, wanting to be economical, bring it home in a take-out box. There were also leftover items from homecooked meals... I will not disclose the length any of these items have been in the fridge, but just know that they were no longer edible.

After doing this, I was basically left with condiments of sundry origins. I cleared all of them out of the fridge and began grouping like items. We married a few of the open bottles of ketchups and hot sauce to make extra room (and let it be known that these are the only things that will be getting married within this household!) and tossed out a few that, although not expired, had such a small amount left that they weren't worth the room they were taking up in the fridge.

What were we left with?

- 2 Bottles of Ketchup (One Regular Heinsz 57, One Organic Heinsz)

- 3 Containers of Miracle Whip/Mayo

- 5 Jars of Jelly (My homemade strawberry preserves, several flavors of Smuckers)

- 6 Types of Peppercinis, Jalapenos, etc.

- 9 Different Kinds of Mustard!

Yep, that's right, folks... We've got your regular yellow mustard, Gulden's spicy mustard, horseradish mustard, honey mustard, Grey Poupon Dijon mustard, and Chipolte mustard. I've never even heard of chipolte mustard!

Oh, yeah... and that isn't including the two brand new bottles of mustard that we have in the pantry.

However, I was informed by Dave last night that mustard is one of the few foods that never goes bad. So I guess we won't be needing to buy mustard for probably the next ten years or so.

The fridge looks great with its new makeover. Just having all of the like items grouped together and everything put in nicely and neatly makes a lot of room. I know that I slept easier last night.

And to the Garage Crew: Dave and I will be providing mustard for every cookout that is held this summer. And probably the next summer after that, too.

**And by the way... What does it say about Dave that he is blogging about me blogging? Whose really got the addiction here? Seriously...

Some Food For Thought

Mmmm.... Homemade lasagna. I made this recently for a small get-together here at the house. I think lasagna gets a bad rap; it isn't hard to make at all. You just have to allot yourself a little extra time to layer the foods... It was gooo-oood, if I do say so myself!

We made a recent trip to the casino and stopped for a few drinks and a snack at the sports bar. They have these GIANT PRETZELS, and when I say giant, I'm not kidding. This pretzel served our table of five. I am addicted to Pretzel Time and Auntie Anne's pretzels at the mall, and this one was great. It wasn't as greasy as some of those malls pretzels, which was good. It is so huge, it comes to the table dangling from a metal rack. I'd never seen something like that before.

Okay, so this isn't really food, but some people play with their food, and these are all of the cat toys that were discovered in my apartment during my recent move. Most were found under the couch, some behind the washer and dryer, and a few tucked into corners of the closet. I think I ended up leaving a few that I couldn't reach behind the refrigerator. Freakin' cats.


And, last but not least, documentation that Dave paid out on a dare while we were waiting to be seated at the local Long Horn Restaurant. In case you've never been there, the servers drag this saddle out to tables for birthdays and make the victims... err, guests of honor... mount the saddle while the entire restaurant sings to them. I love those types of restaurants (twitch, twitch). Anyway, Dr. Mike dared Dave to climb up on the saddle and act like he was lasso-ing something - - and here's the evidence.

You know, I bet Dave really regrets the day he got me the Treo.... Camera phone paparazzi extraordinaire!

It's the Thought that Counts...

Every year I tell myself that I am going to send out Christmas cards, have my shopping finished and presents wrapped more than 3 days before Christmas, and make some sort of gift for my colleagues.

This year I have accomplished all three with almost a week to spare!

Sunday, I made candied walnuts to give to my friends at work. It was surprisingly easy and didn't take all that long. (Although the trip to the store to buy more vanilla was kind of a pain in the arse...)

Simple ingredients: Walnuts (obviously), sugar, cinnamon, ginger and vanilla extract. I made two double batches, so I would have enough for all 15 co-workers.

Throw everything except the nuts and vanilla in a pot and bring it to a boil. When it is at the soft ball stage, throw in the nuts and get them all good and coated.

Then, let them cool and dry on some wax paper. Voila!

The time consuming part was the presentation of the nuts. (Yeah, yeah, I know, I said "presentation of the nuts"... Grow up already!) I decided to handmake tags and cutting out all those goofy Christmas trees and then threading the ribbon through the tag and the jingle bell was a bit tedious...

But, damn they look good!

What's In Your Fridge?

Pretty sad, yeah?

TOTAL CONTENTS:

• Bottom level reserved for beer ~ Bud Light, Fat Tire, Amber Bock, Schlafly and maybe some other stuff that's been left from over the summer.
• Five Diet 7-Ups.
• About half a dozen of eggs - but I don't know if they are safe to eat. They've been in there for a while.
• The yellow bowl on the top shelf contains cereal that I poured for myself before I realized the milk was bad. I didn't want to throw away the cereal, so the bowl has been sitting there for a couple weeks now, waiting for me to buy more milk.
• One and a half Red Bulls. (From the last time I made "Shreks" at my place. Recipe: Equal parts Red Bull and UV Blue Vodka.)
• A lonely Yoplait Yogurt.
• Some butter.
• Left over Penne Pasta with Chicken from McGurk's last night.

It is a wonder that I'm not starving to death.

Grocery Shopping List

I've decided to integrate more food items with rhyming names into my diet. The first two items:

Broccoli Wokly...

...and Diana's Bananas

Let me know if you have any suggestions of other food stuffs with rhyming names that I shoud try.

Would you like some cheese with that whine?

Looks innocent, right?


Just a can of regular Kraft Parmesan Cheese. Perfect for a dinner of ravioli, salad, and garlic bread, which is what I prepared on Tuesday night.

As I enjoyed my dinner, I noticed some writing on the back of the can.

"Try Some Italian!" it declared.

It listed several phrases and their Italian translations with pronunciations such as "Hello" (Ciao!) and "Enjoy your meal" (Buon Appetito!).

Then I noticed something a bit odd.

"Thank you very much, Mom!" (Mille grazie, Mamma!)

Thank you very much, Mom???

What exactly is the implication here? That if children are eating food that requires Kraft Parmesan Cheese, it should be assumed that their mothers are the ones who prepared it? That it is the woman's responsibility to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen?

Hmmph...

And it isn't even only the feminist part of me that gets a little pissed off about this. Men should be upset, too. What kind of credit are they giving the fathers who share responsibilities with their wives? Or the single fathers who fix dinner for their children on a daily basis?

Anyway, I didn't worry about the whole issue too much. It didn't keep me from eating my dinner and I didn't throw away the can in protest. But, I figured, what the hell - it was at least worth a mediocre blog entry!

If you can't stand the heat...

Welcome to Violet's Freshly Squeezed Lemonade and Homemade Strawberry Preserves Stand!

What? Don't believe that Violet can cook more than Easy Mac? Behold, my friends...

My Sunday football pre-game party consisted of making and canning strawberry preserves. I've done this one other time before and love being able to share the finished product with my friends and family. Apparently, there is some disbelief that I would (a) be interested in an activity like this and (b) would actually be successful in the endeavor. Ahhh... if only you knew me so well.

First, I gathered the ingredients. Simple recipe. 4 tart apples, peeled, cored, and chopped; 6 cups of ripe strawberries, cut in halves; 1/4 cup lemon juice; 4 cups of sugar.

I like this recipe because you don't have to use fruit pectin, which can be a pain in the arse. The apples substitute for it.

The thing about making preserves is the fact that it isn't as hard as it looks. The problem is that it is time consuming. As you can see, cutting up the fruit can be somewhat tedious.

Then, everything except the sugar goes into the pot on the stove. Once the fruit reaches a full boil, you toss in the sugar and let it simmer for about 40 minutes. The hardest step is sterilizing, filling, and processing the jars of preserves.

But, the end result is always great.

It is even better when I get to hand them to people and say "Oh, by the way, I whipped up some strawberry preserves over the weekend and thought you might like some."

*Photos and rum smoothies by Dave Morris.